Linda's Baptism

I was born into a family who had a belief in God although not a living relationship with him. I was baptised at 6 weeks old after being quite ill shortly after birth. My parents believed that if the worst thing happened they wanted me to go to Heaven although generally we were a family who only went to church for weddings, christenings and funerals. 

After joining Brownies at age 7 I chose to go to Sunday school and it was there that I learnt the little I knew about the Bible and God. I stopped going after I left brownies at 11 and not until I was in my mid teens did I decide to go to church now and then with a friend. Although I enjoyed going I still didn’t have too much of an understanding of God. After asking to take communion and being refused I was told I couldn’t really be part of the church as I wasn’t confirmed. I thought God obviously wasn’t too bothered about me and I never went back to church. 

After moving to London and working most weekends church didn’t happen and after getting married and moving around because Ian was in the forces it wasn’t always easy to find a church or anybody to go with so again church didn’t happen. Once my children arrived life took over and so again no church. But maybe it didn’t happen because I wasn’t ready for it?  

Having depression for a good deal of my adult life I found myself at a very low ebb about 15 years ago and decided to end my life. Without going into detail our beautiful dog nudged me several times and I woke up to the realisation of what I’d almost done. Did I just change my mind or was God speaking to me indirectly? Another few years passed and my dad died. He’d had poor health for some years and then vascular dementia. It was sad to see his health decline further especially in the few months before he died and for the first time in years I prayed that his physical suffering and mental anguish would soon be over. Within a few weeks it was. Had God listened to me? 

Only a short while after that our son, aged 24, who was living and working in Norway was diagnosed with cancer. It was a difficult time for us all with me making frequent trips out there while he received treatment. I’ve never prayed so hard that his surgery and chemotherapy would work. Work it did and while the care he received from the excellent staff contributed to his recovery who had given these people such knowledge and expertise. God was working again. 

A couple of years later and I lost my Mum after an accident in which she acquired a brain injury. I stopped working to have her home for end of life care but this wasn’t to be after she suffered a significant unrelated haemorrhage. After this she neither spoke to us or knew we were with her. Again, I prayed she wouldn’t linger and she slipped away peacefully and quietly after 2 days in much the same way that she lived. God again? 

Those years I found very traumatic and I completely lost the plot for a while.It never occurred to me then that God had in fact answered my prayers, I was so wrapped up in my grief. After moving to Wales it took a good while and encouragement from a friend to start going to church, there was a new vicar. I still wasn’t ready for a relationship with God though. 

This year saw the start of Wellspring Church which I thought I’d go and see what it was all about. I felt at home, at ease and thoroughly enjoyed the services. I decided to take another step by going to the weekly morning prayer meeting, a sense of peace followed the meetings. Next came Bible study, I was ready to learn and have a knowledge of and a relationship with God. Finally!  At the beginning of this summer I signed up to take part in the million steps for diabetes challenge. I walked every day and probably my favourite place to walk was down a lane in Angle called Coastguards which goes down to East Angle Bay. There are only a few houses set back from the road and for a fair bit of the walk there’s nothing but fields on either side. The road is almost covered by a canopy of trees and while walking there one morning with the sun filtering through the trees I looked up and saw a patch of really bright, glowing sun. My immediate thought was ‘ this must be what it’s like to walk to Heaven and if God chooses for me to do that today then that’s okay’. I started singing and felt an amazing peace and contentment. 

My decision to finally have a relationship with God was absolutely confirmed to me that day. God never gave up on me, I’d always given up on him. He’d never stopped listening to my prayers even though I only prayed in times of trouble. These days I still take my worries to him for prayer but also pray to thank him for that peace and contentment he’s brought to my life.